


Something Has to Give

by marissalyn14



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Heartbreak, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 04:46:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16803907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marissalyn14/pseuds/marissalyn14
Summary: Kara has gone through a tough break up, one that makes her want to believe that Kara Danvers was a mistake. Maybe she just needs to be Supergirl for a while. Let herself feel like she is in control. It'll have to take just the right person to make her see just how wrong she is to think she has to choose between being human and being alien.





	Something Has to Give

You awake from a deepened slumber, your bones cracking and aching as you slowly rise to sit upright in your bed. You hadn’t been able to sleep that soundly in years. Never were you able to rest completely unencumbered and not even the slightest bit disturbed. 

You suppose it had a lot to do with your bed no longer being occupied by someone who took advantage of the space. Someone who would’ve rather entered another, much less hostile bed with an individual who did not hate them, but rather desired them entirely.

However you were not someone who could desire them, you couldn’t, not when you knew what they were capable of. How it was so easy for them to hurt you, to mock you, to ignore you as a whole. 

You finally had a bed to yourself, a quiet and soothing nest for you to rest your head at night, no longer feeling the need to constantly be aware of who laid beside you. No longer did you feel unwelcome in your own bedroom. Gone were the days of feeling abused and tortured by your mistakes. Your ex was gone, and not because they chose willingly to be, but because you commanded it. It was you that broke things off, and it was you that dropped your keys on the dining room table and took one step after another out the front door and down the stairs to your new life. 

A life that was maybe not exactly considered “new”, but a different life nonetheless. Something that your ex couldn’t penetrate, not unless you welcomed it. 

Your new life now existed because you made it so. You breathed it into existence and encouraged it to swallow you whole so you could forget about the past year of your life. One that you would much rather forget in the bottom of a wine glass. Something you’d rather smoke away until it was nothing but a dirty filter and ash beneath the sole of your sneaker.

You wouldn’t allow this gut wrenching break take you with it, but you did dance along the line of possibly falling into it. Leaning into the temptation of forgetting everything because you made yourself forget. Painful words lost in drink and smoke. Lies and truths whispered through your mind late at night when you wanted it to go away the most. 

They hurt you, but you wouldn’t let that define you. 

Which is why you moved back in with your sister on the third floor of a studio apartment building. The only plus to this situation was that you loved your older sister, and that she was almost always never home due to her girlfriend and her job. So the apartment was pretty much yours most nights. 

It didn’t make it any less lonely though. Your bed which also doubled as a pull out couch was rarely vacant as you found yourself inviting strangers into it for moments at a time. Twenty minutes here, an hour there, all of whom were quickly shown their exit after you had had your fill of company and exertion. You had quickly learned that if you were too tired to think, you were much less likely to remember what had been said over the last six months as you struggled for sanity in a relationship you begged the universe to work.

It was only during early mornings when Alex crept into the apartment did you remember that that part of your life was over and you would quickly hide away your tears and pretend that you were asleep. 

Alex always knew when you were awake however. You blamed it on the years of being an overprotective sister and the doctorate that hung over her office desk at work.

“Another tough night?” She called from the entryway as she made her way into the kitchen to make her morning coffee.

You shrugged, “I haven’t found an easy night yet.”

Alex allowed the silence to settle between you as she went to work to start the coffee machine and in turn wake you for the rest of the day. “One day you’ll wake up and it’ll feel a little bit easier than the day before.”

“I’m still waiting on that day to finally come.” You muttered, pressing your face deeper into your pillow as your eyes shimmered all different kinds of colors. 

Again Alex let it go, as she did most mornings. She simply didn’t have the time to try and knock some sense into your head every day of the week. Instead she just said, “It’s been a week. You’ll have time yet to wallow.” She stuck a waffle in the toaster, sending it down into its pocket with a click. “I give you a month to get your shit together and find yourself something a little more productive to put all your efforts into.”

You rolled your eyes, thinking back to the pair of boxers Alex had found by the coat rack when she came in from Maggie’s the other morning, kicking them across the floor to you and demanding that your next guest take all of their belongings with them when they leave.

You smirk now, remember just exactly who those boxers belonged to before willing the face to stick itself back into the recesses of your mind. Someone you would never humor again, just like the rest. One night only, a limited edition and timed offer you had joked to the one girl who accepted your offer on a nightcap that quickly turned into, well, a nightcap.

You knew that what you were doing wasn’t practical, allowing something that had happened to you control your every decision and choice, but it hurt too much to feel like you weren’t in control, which is all you had been feeling as of late. At least with this you were in control, or at least in enough control to not feel useless. Anything was better than feeling like a nuisance. 

You knew Alex loved you unconditionally and would help you get through this part of your life, but you had to let her first. You had to break down what was left of the walls you had built so long ago. 

“I’m going to grab a shower before heading into work.” Alex said as she took her coffee cup and began heading towards the apartment’s only bathroom. 

You had to get your shit together, you knew you did. You just didn’t even know where to begin. You just felt powerless. Like everything that you have done was for nothing. You thought that things with Mon El were forever. You believed that you were the luckiest girl on Earth to have found your person so young, but it was all for nothing. The past year and a half with him left you with nothing but misery and boy did it love company.

This version of you was vile. Kara Danvers wasn’t ever meant to break. Hell, Supergirl is supposed to be made of steel; impenetrable. Yet you allowed him in, because he convinced you that he was worthy. What a sucker you had been to believe his lies, to actually think that he was different from all the rest. Mon El had been poison. Every decision you had made to be with him was wrong. You changed your entire life just for one boy who said he loved you. Who said you were the only thing that mattered to him. In reality though, the only true thing Mon El had ever said to you, was that he knew you loved him. And boy did you love him. He had slowly turned into your everything without you even realizing it. 

You hated that he had done this to you, that you let him break you. It filled you with rage until you began to spill over with hate and anger. Lashing out at anyone who would listen, who would try to help you. That night you came to live with Alex was one of the hardest nights of your life. Aside from falling to Earth and learning to live among humans, this had had to be one of your worst Adult experiences. Something you had thought you would never have. After all you weren’t human, why did you let yourself believe that you could be?

Maybe Kara Danvers was a mistake. Supergirl was strong, was everything that you forgot you were. Perhaps it was time to hang up the Danvers name and become the person, or rather the alien you were meant to be. Put on this planet to protect and serve, not for yourself but for the lives that truly mattered. The ones that created the space around you. The individuals that commanded change.

When Alex emerged from her shower, freshly dressed in a clean uniform, she would find that you were already gone. No sign that anyone had been living on the couch at all. 

You convinced yourself it was the right thing to do. To be who you were meant to be. Supergirl you were, Kara Danvers you were not. For that, you were finally sure of.

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think? Not happy by a long shot I know, but maybe it could be? Right now I'm going through a tough break up myself so maybe this is a therapeutic way for me to get all of those harsh feelings out there. Should I continue this? Please let me know. 
> 
> You can find me at: thisismyhalfroomcutie.tumblr.com


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